23 March 2009 - Dirty jokes in my
Can you tell your husband something that will make him happy and sad
at the same time?
"You have the biggest penis of all your friends..."
A few years ago, the US Forest Service were presenting an alternative to
Montana ranchers for controlling the coyote population. It seems that
after years of the ranchers using the tried and true methods of shooting
and/or trapping the predator, some officials had a more humane solution.
What the Forest Service proposed was for the animals to be captured
alive, the males castrated and let loose again, and the population would
of the ranchers mulled over this amazing idea for a couple of minutes.
Finally, an old boy in the back stood up, tipped his hat back, and said,
"Son, I don't think you understand the problem. Those coyotes ain't
fuckin' our sheep -- they're eatin' 'em."
The husband leans over and asks his wife,
- “Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years
ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back
fence and I made love to you.
-Yes, she says, I remember it well.
- OK, he says, How about taking a stroll around there again and we can
do it for old time's sake?
- Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and,
having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these
two old-timers having sex against a fence. " I'll just keep an eye on them
so there's no trouble." So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for
support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the
tavern and make their way to the fence... The old lady lifts her skirt and
the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the
old man moves in... Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious
sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten
minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming.
Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life
and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old
couple struggles to their feet and put their clothes back on. The
policeman is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly
amazing; I've got to ask them what their secret is. So, as the
couple passes, he says to them,
- Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a
fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,
- Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.